It snowed last night so I made a snowman with my children.
A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snowwoman. So, I added a snowwoman.
My feminist neighbour complained about the snowwoman’s voluptuous chest saying it objectified women.
The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it should have been two snowmen instead.
A transgender man..women…person asked why I didn’t just make one snow person with detachable parts.
The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not for decorating snow figures.
I was called a racist because my snow couple are white.
A middle-eastern gent across the road demanded the snowwoman be covered up in the name of modesty.
The Police arrived saying someone had taken offence.
My feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snowwoman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
A TV news crew showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? I replied “Snowballs” and am now called a sexist.
To sensationalise their story, I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken into care by social services.
Far left protesters, offended by everything, marched down the street demanding I be arrested.
There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become, all because of Snowflakes.